Because of the nature of my work (independent 3D artist), i only sleep whenever i have to... which is sometimes from like noon to 5 PM, like today.... and because of that, i'm normally losing days of the week... i wake up at night or in the middle of the day and i just continue with my day never knowing what day it is, but it's always one or two days later than what i think it is.... like, i'll think it's wednesday, and it's already friday... always going "whoah?? I lost two days of my life!!"..

but today i woke up, at 5 PM... and i was "gaah, wednesday already"... and nopes, still tuesday... i finally gained a day, and that makes me happy, as stupid as it sounds...

Another of my short stories...

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i know i have to leave her... as painful as that is... but no one understands better than me that this has to be done..

I mean, what else can i do? I know that she truly loves me, but, how i am good for her at all? I don't belong in her world, none of her stupid friends like me, her parents hate me to death... and what does a dumb town kid know about managing big companies or running huge corporations or organizing gigantic parties and all that crappy stuff that i have never even cared about. And she's gonna inherit all that.. and she loves that world!! She loves all that surrounds her and i know, for a fact, that she loves her lifestyle... i don't even see her being able to survive at all without 3 or 4 people serving her all day long...

I just don't get it... what did she even see in me? I'm pretty sure that in the beginning she just got close to me to piss off "mommy and daddy" for fun, and that she didn't even realize for a second how in love with her i was... how she was the only think i could think of ever since my mom brought me here 10 years ago, when she didn't have anyone to take care of me for the day and she snuck me in through the employees door in the back... she told me in her broken english "don't move anywhere, you hear?", but of course, what is an 8 year old kid going to do when left alone in a huge mansion with a gigantic swimming pool and all the luxuries that this place has? This place is so big that she wouldn't even hear me dunking on the water while she was cleaning the countless rooms with her vacuum and all her crap... I would just run and play and jump in the water over and over again... and then i saw her there...

She looked older than me, even though we were the same age... i guess it's that thing that girls always mature earlier, and the disgust in her face definitely made her look like an old lady already. "Who the hell ARE you... and how did you get in here??", she yelled as she was pretty much ready to start calling everyone in the house on me... but for some reason, she didn't... and she let me beg her not to tell anyone out of the fear of my mom being fired just because of me... and she promised she wouldn't tell, but only if i would do something for her... and ever since that day, i fell for her like i never even imagined someone could fall for someone else.

In the end, it all backfired on her, and over the years it was her who ended up head over heels in love with me and telling me constantly how she could never live without me anymore... but, i love her TOO much to put her through this... i am NO ONE... i have NOTHING to offer her other than my love.. and i KNOW i KNOW that that is not enough... she deserves so much more than me... she deserves someone so much better than me, much smarter, definitely better looking... and someone who can live up to the lifestyle she so adores... and this is not my world... as much as i've been the pool boy here ever since my mom hooked me up with the job, and i did happen to like the job until her parents caught us one day doing "our thing"... if she wasn't so smart and if her parents weren't so easy to be manipulated, both my mom and me would be on the streets right now... but in spite of that, having those two evil people shoot me every hateful look they can every time they come to the pool is just getting to me...

I have to leave her... it's been some fun years, but i can't hold her back this way... I'll never mount to anything, and she has the whole world ready to be taken by her... and i KNOW that everyone around her feels the same way as me.. she's not gonna be able to hold this job for me forever... and i don't want her to go 30 or 40 years of her life to then go back and say "I can't believe i wasted all this time with you!"... that would kill me... and if this love has to die, i'd rather have it done now than later...

I'll miss her, that's for sure.. but i know that she will be happy without me... she may not realize that now... but i know that one day she will... i better get to it.

One of my short stories....

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The Curse

"In the end, it was true...

I can remember it as if it was yesterday... I was four when that old woman yelled obscenities at my mom, saying that one day I was going to be as dry as the desert we were trying to cross then... she threw some sand on me, and then spit blood on my face... before she could do anything else, my dad finished slashing her throat with his knife, just like he had done with her husband a few moments before...

Mom washed my face with the little water we had left... why did she do that? did she really believe in that woman's words?? She could have saved it!... I'm sure she would have survived the trip if she hadn't used even the last drop on me... I wish I could have died instead of her...

20 years... who would have thought the curse would take 20 whole years before taking effect... I don't know how longer my dad will be able to keep bringing me food and water... he's old now, he can't be making the trip through this desert every month! That truck of his will not be able to stand the heat much longer either... I just should lay on the ground and become a part of the desert... I don't belong anywhere, either way!... it wouldn't be much of a difference... I'm already a part of it..."

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Where the frug is the sun?? it's been covered by clouds for like the past three weeks, and this definitely cannot be normal... i need its energy, the lack o it is driving me crazy...

you and i is all i need...

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